Categories
Sex

Why I Love Under-the-Bed Restraints During Sex

Kinky fun for bondage beginners and erotic experts


When my husband and I were dating, he learned early on that I was sexually submissive. My heart sped up and my arousal intensified if he did something as simple as pin my wrists above my head in one of his large hands during sex.

When we first started venturing into the use of bondage toys in our love-making, we started small. Ties and scarves. Then handcuffs. Then, we tried out something that took our kinky exploration of BDSM to a whole new level: an under-the-bed restraint system.

With this kind of restraint, both the wrists and ankles can be easily cuffed at the top and bottom of the mattress. The first time we used them, my hubby had adjusted the straps so that my limbs stretched out wide, reaching toward all four corners of our mattress.

The beauty of this kind of adjustable system is that you can place the straps however you like — wide apart or closer together, depending on how much slack you want to allow your partner.

On this special first occasion of ours, I was flat on my back and completely naked, my arms and legs cuffed at all four corners of the bed. With my head resting on a pillow and my legs forced wide open, I felt the chill of the air on my most intimate area. My hands were spread just as wide, so I wouldn’t be able to take the cuffs off of myself.

My husband knelt between my legs, grinning. He had complete control of my body and my complete trust.

At the mercy of his — and my — pleasure

I love the feeling of being fully restrained. The feeling of being completely open, exposed, and at my lover’s mercy.

As his fingers danced along my belly, my hips, my arms, and then to my breasts, I relished every minute of the attention, my goosebump-dotted skin extra sensitive to the sensation of his touch.

He gently teased and pinched my nipples with his fingers before bending over me to place first my right nipple, then my left, between his lips and stimulate them both with his tongue.

I gasped at the electric shock that rippled to my core, and he kept the pleasure going as he placed a hand between my legs and played with the delicate folds of labia. Because of my position, my lips were already spread open for him and waiting.

He fingered me gently, and I immediately bucked my hips up to meet his hand, thrusting against it as much as my restraints would allow (which wasn’t enough). It was a delicious kind of torture.

When he stopped playing with me, I immediately wanted more.

“Ask for it,” he said, teasing me.

Pipe Dreams Fetish Fantasy Series Bed Bind…

Fetish Fantasy Series Bed Restraint Bondage Kit lets you transform your bed into a pass… [More]

Price: $37.95

I rolled my eyes because he knows I’m shy with dirty talk. Even to this day, I’m more comfortable writing my dirtiest thoughts or discussing them outside of sex — and I get some sort of stage-fright when I talk about my own pleasure during sex. There’s this pressure to sound all sexy when I’m afraid I’ll sound the exact opposite.

“Put your mouth on me,” I said.

“Where, here?” He kissed the top of my shin.

“No, down more.”

“Tell me,” he said, his chin perfectly centered between my legs, hovering over the spot I wanted him to dive into.

“Lick my clit,” I said, trying to sound confident in my demand.

Finally, he touched his tongue to my dripping wet and waiting pussy. Thankfully, he rose to the occasion and went above and beyond the simple task I asked him to complete. His tongue was all over me, gliding up and down my slit, thrusting inside me, and then circling in on my swollen clit.

I rose to meet his greedy mouth, again digging my heels into the mattress to pump my hips against the restraints and getting very little lift. In my frustration, I pulled at the wrist cuffs, yearning to push his head down.

“Harder,” I begged. And he obliged, placing his hands beneath my ass cheeks and pulling me up against his mouth as he applied more pressure from his frantic tongue.

Not having my hands available to me was forcing me to be more communicative.

I asked him to finger me while he lapped at my clit, and he immediately began pumping two of his fingers in and out of me. Within minutes, I was shuddering from an intense climax, moaning so loudly with pleasure that I worried our neighbors would hear.

He wiped a hand across his mouth and was instantly on the move. He placed his knees between my legs, thrusting his hard cock into me while the aftershocks of my orgasm were still coursing through my body.

It was strange not being able to touch him, but I felt irresistible and desired, thoroughly used for his pleasure. The feeling of relinquishing sexual control arouses me more than I can put into words.

He fucked me harder and harder the closer he got, grunting out his pleasure as he chased his climax. Just before he came, he pulled out and ejaculated on my belly, which rose up and down quickly with my panting.

It was some of the hottest, most intimate sex I’d ever experienced with my partner.

Great for bondage beginners and experts

An under-the-bed restraint system is super simple to use and not at all daunting for bondage beginners. Another bonus, the set-up is a breeze — the name says it all.

To get started, you simply lift the mattress, lay out the four connected straps until the cuffs reach the four corners, place the mattress back on top of the system, and you’re ready for some kinky fun.

It’s nice that everything is adjustable. You can place the cuffs wider apart at the corners, or closer together at the top and bottom of the mattress. You can also easily adjust the lengths of the straps depending on the person’s height.

Another plus is that the cuffs are soft against the skin and also easy to adjust, either with Velcro or a simple buckle. You can make them tight on the wrists and ankles or leave a little room, depending on personal preference.

There are no complicated knots to worry about, and you don’t have to be concerned about metal cuffs damaging the skin or ropes cutting off circulation. While safety and consent are always a factor no matter what you’re doing, this restraint system is really user friendly, and the safety concerns are not as numerous as something like handcuffs or rope bondage, which require more training and expertise.

The price point is another plus. Check any sexy store or online shop, and you’re able to find a set anywhere from under $20 on the lower end to $75 on the higher end.

But my favorite part is getting kinky and creative and doing all sorts of different things. If you’re more on the vanilla side and just want to dip your toes into bondage, you can opt to just restrain the wrists or ankles only.

You can be tied up on your back, on all fours, or flat on your belly.

With some sets, you can even detach the cuffs and use them with a shorter connector, coming up with all sorts of new bondage positions.

The thing I love most is the immense pleasure I get from being tied up and taken. This level of bondage is extremely intimate, erotic, and arousing for a subby girl like me — and I highly recommend it to my like-minded submissives out there.


Thank you for reading! Sign up for my newsletter, and I’ll send updates from time to time on my latest creations. You can also follow me on Twitter.


Featured image by Екатерина Александровна from Pixabay

This story contains affiliate links. I’ll earn a small commission to support my writing and my podcast if you use my links when you shop!

Categories
Sex

The Art of the Dominant Blow Job

Sometimes I like it rough and kinky — even when it comes to oral


Outside of my sex life, I thrive on independence and empowerment. I was once married to a man who tried to control and manipulate every aspect of my daily life, and it was a miserable four years of abusive arguments.

Suffice it to say that I don’t mix well with alfa males when they don’t respect my strong personality or my need for autonomy within a relationship.

But sexually, a man who knows how to be controlling, dominant, and even a bit rough in the bedroom leaves me wet and squirming with desire. Being taken, being grabbed and manhandled and fucked hard — it’s some of the hottest sex I’m able to experience, both physically and mentally.

I’ve always been drawn to rough sex — specifically from the submissive side. I’m incredibly turned on by, say, a man pinning me against a wall and pulling my hair as he slides his cock inside me, fucking me with strong, pounding thrusts, like he can’t get deep enough inside me.

This exchange of power — wherein a man admires my intelligence and capable decisionmaking outside of the bedroom but knows how to meet my needs by controlling me in the bedroom — applies to the art of fellatio as well.

In other words, I love a good face-fucking. And as a feminist, I stand by my right to love a good face-fucking.

Only because you know my body intimately, you know what I like, you know what I can take, and know that giving up the control I maintain all day gives me the most intense erotic pleasure, leading to my ultimate orgasmic release once it’s my turn.

The art of submission and giving head

There’s something comforting in getting on my knees and letting him take the lead with everything — depth, pace, angle, position, and so on. As long as all is consensual and we communicate about what we’re doing beforehand, it’s an intensely pleasurable sexual experience for me.

I’ve had one terrible experience with oral sex, and that was my very first blow job. It was non-consensual and caught me completely off guard, making me tense up to the point that I didn’t stop it.

This is sexual assault, which has nothing to do with my love of power exchange and consensual rough sex. Unfortunately, not everyone understands the difference between the two, so I have to lead with this disclaimer.

Yes, fuck my mouth while you pull my hair. Choke me with your cock until I gag. Use me for your pleasure until your come shoots down my throat — but only after we’ve communicated about it beforehand.

Only because you know my body intimately, you know what I like, you know what I can take, and know that giving up the control I maintain all day gives me the most intense erotic pleasure, leading to my ultimate orgasmic release once it’s my turn.

Bondage and blow jobs

I love kneeling on the floor, pleasing him orally with my wrists tied together. Tying the wrists in front is the hottest and most practical, as I can still bring my hands up to stroke his cock or play with his balls as he’s holding the back of my head and guiding himself between my lips.

I discovered my passion for bondage long ago, and it’s been one of my biggest kinks ever since. A rope, a tie, silk scarf, Velcro bonds, handcuffs — each of them bring a little something different as far as look and feel.

Metal cuffs will bite into my wrists just enough to create a little pleasurable pain, while a furry Velcro strap will be comfortable and feather-soft.

It’s all about what you’re in the mood for.

Image by Espressolia from Pixabay

Binding the wrists in front is also better because I’m able to have some control over how deep he goes — if I need to. While the idea is to let go completely, safety is a priority. I very much have a gag reflex, and while I like pushing that a little, I don’t want to puke all over him or find myself unable to breathe.

I’ve given a blow job with my hands tied behind my back as well, and it was certainly a thrill. It’s not impossible to do safely, but you have to be able to work out a non-verbal signal beforehand so you can communicate discomfort or if a hard limit has been crossed.

Upsidedown oral

One of my favorite submissive positions for giving a man oral is lying down on my back with my head hanging over the edge of the bed. Not unlike the upsidedown Spider-Man kiss, only it’s fellatio instead of kissing. This means my mouth will be upside down when taking his cock, with the head of his penis rubbing along the roof of my mouth as it makes its way to the back of my throat.

This angle changes things up a bit, allowing me to glide my tongue easily over the top side of his shaft as he thrusts in and out. I have access to his balls, and he gets a lovely visual of my naked form sprawled across the bed.

One of the best parts is how this gives his hands easy access to my body. I can work my tongue and hands on him while he massages my breasts, plays with my nipples, and rubs my clit to completion.

This position has a fantastic advantage because it allows us to both come, which isn’t hard for me to do at that point, as giving head is a major turn-on for me that can help me climax easier and faster.

But again, this is a position you have to take care to do safely. As with any rough or dominant/submissive sex, checking in is vital. Both parties have to consider things like neck strain and being careful that the receiver’s head isn’t in the upsidedown position for longer than is comfortable.

Dominant 69

For me, the 69 position will never go out of style. Even though I like some dominant fellatio, I prefer to be on top with this one. It’s just a matter of being able to breathe and avoiding a pair of testicles up the nostrils — not the most conducive to pleasure.

And, he can still be in control of the pace and depth even if he’s on the bottom, meeting my head bobbing by thrusting his hips up while he pleases me orally at the same time. If he also penetrates my vagina with his fingers while circling my clit with his tongue, it’s an amazing sensation.

It’s about my pleasure too

As I’ve mentioned, giving head turns me on, getting me hot and bothered enough to help me on my way to orgasm. I love knowing that I’m giving him pleasure, but at the same time, I want that pleasure too.

Equal opportunity pleasure.

To this end, I love to lie back in bed, my head on a comfy pillow, and turn on my side with him on his knees in front of me. In this position, he can grab my head or my hair and lift me up slightly, plunging himself into my mouth and controlling the motions while leaving one of his hands free to please me.

I love when he uses a vibrator on me in this position. Or, I can use one on myself. I can experience several shuddering climaxes while my moans of ecstasy are muffled by his cock. Having my mouth covered with a gag or my partner’s hand is a big kink of mine, and that same feeling can be translated to a cock shoved in my mouth as a muffle.

By using a vibrator with both a G-spot and clitoral stimulator, I come multiple times. And if we time it just right, we can come at the same time. Which is a pretty big indicator of successful partner communication. A team effort for sure.

Final thoughts

For some women, giving a blow job that is anything other than gentle isn’t a good time. And some prefer not to give blow jobs at all. We all have our turn-ons and our limits, and finding a partner who is compatible or willing to be compatible isn’t always easy.

I suspect I’m hardwired for rough play, and everyone’s threshold for that is different. What I find to be the perfect amount of force might be too gentle for the next person, and vice versa.

This is why partner communication and enthusiastic consent is key. When you have that worked out and you can get to know your partner’s style, the level of erotic intimacy you can achieve together is limitless.

Feature image by depositphotos on Stockphoto


Wanna stay in touch? Join my mailing list, and I’ll periodically send updates on my latest blogs and erotica.

Monogamish Fear and Longing
Some of us want more — but how do we find it?

Vulva Mapping
For health, wellness, and pleasure

Pillow Talk with Emma Austin
A super sexy podcast reviewmedium.com